So you think science is boring? You imagine it’s conducted by socially-maladjusted white males who rarely comb their hair. You picture them shuffling around brightly lit laboratories, arguing about "statistical significance," turning each other invisible, and trying in vain to cure athlete’s foot. You’re right! Studies show that—on average—a scientist will work 25.8 years before discovering something relevant to the average American. The problem is—by this time—the average American has lost interest and is watching a rerun of “Simon & Simon.” That’s where we come in. At Psych-o-Babble Industries, coal-burning ovens power the discovery of knowledge. Our scientists work in dark, dungeon-like conditions, 24/7. They can’t afford to wait 25.8 years for every worthwhile nugget of know-how to "be discovered." On what we pay them, they can hardly afford toothbrushes. At Psych-o-Babble, we make science. We collect everything ever known, sift out the boring crap you hate, mix in quantum abstractions, sex, Einsteinian wisdom, and drugs. That leaves only the GOOD SCIENCE, the kind you can use to take over the world, impress dates, or just plain scare the bejeezus out of co-workers. Among other things, you’ll find the following on our site:
Our humble thanks for stopping by. And don’t worry—visiting the site won’t target your computer for space-based laser tests. That rumor is totally unfounded, and any laser strikes in your vicinity should be taken for what they are: coincidental. |
